I have two questions for you about your health:
What’s one change you could make today to significantly boost your health and vitality?
What’s stopping you from making this change right now?
We all have areas in our health routines we know could be improved—more consistent exercise, better nutrition, adequate sleep, a little less alcohol—yet taking that first step or maintaining momentum can often feel insurmountable. And we make excuses for why we can’t start now. Why is that? And more importantly, what can we do about it? By the end of this post, you will gain insight into why change can feel so daunting and identify what may be holding you back from the behavior change you desire. In the next series of posts, we will dive into tools and strategies for overcoming resistance and maintaining motivation.
Reflecting on the fitness part of my health journey, strength training and running used to be a part of my daily fitness routine that I genuinely enjoyed in my 20’s and early 30’s. But returning to it after struggling with fatigue and chronic illness was anything but straightforward. The invigoration I used to feel was replaced by overwhelm at the low state of health I found myself; physically weak and unsure of how to start rebuilding my strength. I felt doubtful about my ability to regain my former fitness level and uninformed about how to effectively make these significant changes. Nor did I know where I would find the time consistently as I was also trying to balance my demanding work schedule and family responsibilities.
All my attempts at physical activity were clouded by thoughts, fear and dread, turning what was once a source of joy into a chore that left me feeling drained. Despite my best intentions, maintaining consistency turned into a recurring struggle. A month or two of disciplined training would inevitably be followed by a lapse, where motivation waned, and old habits resurfaced.
My story is not unique; it reflects a common struggle many of us face when life disrupts our routines. We each have our own areas of struggle whether that be exercise, nutrition, sleep, stress management or relationships. Have you ever found yourself in a similar position, where what once felt great now seems like an insurmountable task?
Decoding Resistance: Why Change Feels Hard
Resistance to change is a natural human instinct. It is not about laziness or a lack of motivation; it’s often rooted in deeper psychological responses. It might stem from fear of the unknown, past failures, self-doubt, overwhelm, fear of loss of control, or even just the comfort of familiarity. Reasons why our most difficult challenges seem hard if we are aware of them (sometimes we can’t see our own blind spots):
Familiarity: Habitual patterns serve us in some way by providing familiar routines that reduce stress and provide predictability in our lives. In our fast-paced lifestyle, our current habits, even those that aren’t the healthiest, serve important functions in our lives like time savings, stress reduction, comfort and reward, social connection, energy management and coping mechanisms. When faced with such a challenge, it’s easier to default to old habits than to push forward into uncharted territory.
Beliefs: Specific types of beliefs can keep us stuck such as:
- Behavioral Identity Beliefs: “I am not an athlete” or “I am bad at exercising.”
- Belief in Limited Possibility: “I’ve always been this way; it’s too late to change” Or “I don’t have the skills or knowledge to prepare healthy meals.” What beliefs might you hold that could limit your potential?
- Emotional and Fear-Based Beliefs: “Changing my diet will make me unhappy. I won’t be able to eat my favourite foods again or eat out with my friends.” Or “I have tried this before, and now it seems out of reach.” The resistance found in the face of prior setbacks can feel discouraging and frustrating. This can lead to a cycle of stagnation where the desire to change is there, but the will to act feels out of reach.
- All-or-Nothing Thinking: “If I can’t follow this diet perfectly, there’s no point in trying.” Ignoring the benefits of making partial or incremental changes, can lead to giving up entirely if perfection isn’t achievable.
- Overgeneralization: “I tried strength training once and didn’t like it, so exercise isn’t for me.” Because something was true in one case doesn’t necessarily dictate that it will be true in all cases.
- Complexity and Information Overload: “There’s too much conflicting information out there about nutrition. I don’t know what to believe or where to start.”
Environmental Cues: Our environment can trigger habitual behaviors. This includes physical locations, the people we are with, and even specific times of the day. For example, someone might habitually snack when sitting on the couch and watching TV, because the environment cues that behavior.
Reflecting on my own journey, the emotional fears and beliefs that kept me struggling and unknowingly self-sabotaging myself for far too long were:
Emotional Fear Based – The overwhelm and fear I felt about burnout and potentially reigniting the severe fatigue that once ruled my life.
All-or-Nothing Thinking and Perfectionism –
Thoughts that I “Should” be able to perform at a certain level, created unnecessary pressure and rigid demands on myself. Starting with 5 to 15 minutes of strength training did not feel like enough. Inevitably, I was pushing myself too hard and overtraining causing muscle soreness that would last for days and the inability to maintain that level of training over the long term.
I don’t “Should” on myself anymore. Working within my limits, no matter how small and insignificant my mind tells me the actions are, will get me to the outcomes I want. It is not about competing with my past self or others. It is about building habits that are sustainable in the long term that will help me reach the minimum guidelines for strength and cardiovascular fitness for health and longevity.
Your Thoughts and Experiences?
I invite you to reflect on your own experiences with resistance.
- What changes have you been putting off?
- What beliefs are holding you back?
- How are these habits currently serving you?
- What are the benefits of making this change? (list as many as you can)
Identify one belief mentioned today that resonates with you and write down a quick plan on how you might begin to challenge it.
Stay tuned for future posts, where we will discuss practical strategies for overcoming resistance, building and sustaining new habits, maintaining motivation, and handling setbacks.
I’d love to hear about your experiences and especially about any small steps you plan to take to overcome these barriers. Let’s start a conversation below!
Important Information: The information provided in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While health coaching can support and enhance overall wellness, it is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health care. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or health objectives. This blog aims to empower you with knowledge and tools to improve your general well-being and help you make informed decisions about your health, but it is not designed to replace professional medical or mental health services.
About the Author
Heather Budd is a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, trained by the Functional Medicine Coaching Academy. She specializes in guiding individuals through lifestyle transformations to manage chronic illness and combat fatigue. With a diverse background in business, leadership and a profound personal health journey, Heather empowers clients to reclaim their health and extend their health span.